Disney Parade
I saw my mother participate
At the end of the parade
With the energy and joy of a young girl.
She scooped up her granddaughter
Ducked under the parade route rope
Danced into the fray of the parade characters and floats
Without a care in the world.
Pure joy and light radiated from her face.
Enjoying herself in that moment
Joining the party.
Bringing her granddaughter into the joy of the party.
Dad in disbelief. Is that your mom out there?
Me crying under sunglasses.
Happy to see her give in or give way
Never seeing her give in or give way to the joy that is life.
Because her mom died when she was so young?
Because her dad betrayed her?
Because her life with my dad was not what she had envisioned?
Because he was not what she had envisioned?
Because she couldn’t give into joy
Out of fear it wouldn’t last or wouldn’t be enough or wouldn’t be real
But determined that her granddaughter was not going to miss this moment of joy and music and sun and laughter and exuberance.
Me determined to give her more occasions to feel this free.
Written 4/25/2023
We sit on the back porch
Sharing about our day,
Repeating the news of the day.
My mind is tired.
Have I heard anything at all?
The varied green colors of Spring are overwhelming.
The flitters of the birds add to the confusion.
My favorite people
This comforting spot
My inner chaos.
Written April 2023
A fit man with gray clipped moustache and furrowed brows with a gym bag
Returning a black 3 ring binder densely packed with colored tabs
Expertly zipping the bag closed.
His military rigidness, routine and requirements
In the exactly prepared binder
Meant to be here for a creative writing class
Unable to allow for anything messy.
Exasperation in putting his writing binder back in his gym bag
Efficiently zipping it closed.
Closing his bag and mind to this writing exercise
No room for anything but order and precision
Back erect, gaze straight and harsh
No contemplation available
Always in soldier mode.
Written April 2023